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Saturday, April 9, 2011

Affordable Supercar Series: ASS

Do you like getting kicked in the backside by the hammer of Thor but could do without all the broken bones?  How about consuming absurd distances of road and feeling refreshed when you get out?  Even with gas near $4 a gallon, do you still feel the need to burn more fuel than Prince William's wedding procession?  Well, we got the car for you!

Yes, I know.  Your mind is blown!  A four seat coupe is indeed an Affordable Supercar AND it's a Mercedes.  This isn't just any run of the mill car with a tri-pointed star in the grille.  This is the CL65 AMG with a pair of turbos and a 6.0 liter V12 behind that shiny grille.

Wait a minute!  Go back and read that again.  "Turbos" and "V12" are in the same sentence and the same car.  This CL isn't just a boulevard cruiser.  It's a back alley bruiser.  That force-fed motor converts air and fuel with a result of just over 600hp making this the most powerful ASS ever!  We might as well call this car Beyonce.
With 603 horsepower and 738lb-ft of torque on tap, Beyonce is quite the performance vehicle despite tipping the scales at 4,750lbs.  I guess muscle really does weigh more than fat.  To prove the point, a sprint to 60 takes about four and a half seconds with a quarter mile completed in just over twelve seconds.  Handling is better than expected of a car weighing over two tons but this isn't exactly a Lotus Elise.

Not being an Elise in this class and price range is a good thing too.  It actually comes with an interior and it is simply divine.  Many cows gave their lives to produce an elegant cockpit that can seat four very comfortably for very long journeys.  Since it looks like any other car that a rich geriatric would drive, long journeys can be completed in a minimal amount of time without a glance from the police.

Here's Jeremy Clarkson's review and don't forget to check Ebay... for sub-$40k CL65s, not Beyonce

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